This morning I discovered a new room in "the haunted mind". It was a child's room, a room of wonder and awe. For a short time everything was new and amazing. The droplets of water on the shower curtain mesmerized me. The water droplets are different sizes, did you ever notice that? As I wiped away the steam, it would slowly build up again. As I swiped it again, I could see three levels of "thickness" to it. The warm air from the blow dryer felt as wonderful and amazing as the breeze on a beach with white sand and green water like Aruba.
Perhaps this sounds a little strange, my Therapist was teasing me that it is like an "acid trip" without the drugs. But it lead to an interesting discussion about other kinds of wonder...like the wonder that we find in nature. Think for a moment of your favorite outdoor place and how it makes you feel. Or the wonder that you can feel from spiritual things...remember the last spiritual experience that filled you with awe. Some how the conversation veered to science and math and the wonder there. Have you ever felt awed by math, science or literature? I am afraid that many people miss that one, but it's there, really!
As we talked I wondered how I could have forgotten all these things that feel me with awe...each in a different way, but each powerful. I pondered it and decided that sometimes when hard things happen to us it can be like piling shovel fulls of dirt on top of the joy and wonder in our life. When enough dirt gets piled on the you can forget the joy was ever there. How tragic!
My therapist says perhaps I could throw the dirt somewhere else rather than covering up the joy. I don't know how that would work, but for now it feels like enough to remember that joy, wonder and awe that are there somewhere. More importantly to know they are in the Haunted Mind.
How about you my friends? Have you felt wonder and awe recently? If not, may I suggest that you get a shovel and dig it out? It's worth it, I promise!
The other day my husband and I were at a Persian restaurant where I ordered a hot tea. In the Persian tradition, the tea is served in clear glass "mugs" so that you can see if the tea has been brewed correctly. Unlike a ceramic coffee mug, you are able to see the darkness or lightness of the tea and know if your hostess "knows how to make good tea." :-) In that culture they'll devise all sorts of things that seem innocent enough but actually must be designed to catch you doing something wrong that they can judge you for.
ReplyDeleteWhen the server brought my tea to the table I looked down and was mesmerized by the condensation that had collected above the liquid line. The crystals of moisture that had collected were AMAZING. Each one unique and complex in their structure but ever so tiny.
My husband looked at me funny and asked if my tea was alright. After I told him how cool the condensation crystals were he just shook his head (he is no longer surprised by me, of course) and asked if I was alright. LOL!
I walk almost every day. I don't bring music along like most of the people I see on the way. I bring a camera. While I am outside in the beautiful area in which I live, I can focus on the gorgeous natural surroundings and spend the time in meditation and prayer. Wonder and awe is my pleasure every single day. When we can focus on the miracles of creation around us--a spider web, the way the light appears on the face of a lake, the structure and detail in a leaf, the frolicking of a horse in a field--we can focus less on ourselves and find a moment's peace and contentment.
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